57, no house

57, no house of my own (rent went up 25% ), no wife, no girlfriend, no friends. No job, health failing. No stamina. Tired all the time. Bad eyes, teeth, back, brain. Decades of loneliness, failure, stagnation, broken dreams, unanswered prayers. I want God to show me his goodness. No more doom & gloom hard task master putting me through the gauntlet of testing. I believe this has put me in spiritual danger. I ask God to remove the curses, the negative blocks, and replace it with blessing, love, happiness, abundance, joy. I want to see God’s humor, his light side, his kindness. When I see a stray animal I want to reach down and cuddle it, comfort it, make it happy. Like a shelter dog that is abused and then adopted. The way to get it to come around is positive, not negative reinforcement. You don’t yell “bad dog” and smack it with a rolled up newspaper. That would be counterproductive to a dog that doesn’t trust that has been through the mill. The way to help that dog is to reassure it, show it the goodness of life until it’s tail begins to wag again. I pray God does that for me. I’m like fragile piece of pottery that has been broken and glued back together so many times all it takes is a puff of wind to break me again. I need God’s kid gloves. Pray he does this. I want God to show me his love. Jesus, I know the Bible says the prayers of a righteous man avails much. But, when the Pharisees asked why you ate with tax collectors, prostitutes and sinners you said “It’s not those who are well who need a doctor”. I’m not well. Don’t wait for me to be perfect before you bless me. Bless me now so that I may become perfect. Like Job you let the devil on me while I was still good. It messed me up. Now I’m not so perfect. All the more reason I need your positive response.